New Job Neighbourhood Food Tour 2014: Chelsea Edition (And Other Thoughts)

Midway through my General Tso’s seitan sandwich, fixed with slices of pickled beets and very spicy mayo, on a toasty baguette, I realized I’d overdone it. I’d put off lunchtime, letting myself get very hungry. I meant to get something a little healthier but my new shoes hurt and I was short on time. There I was, at my desk, downing too much sandwich, and too quickly. Today was also the day I’d decided to wear the tightest jeans I own, fresh from the laundromat dryer. Oof.

And then came the deja vu. I’d been at my new job for a few weeks, and it’s located in a markedly better food neighbourhood than my last job was. The excitement of new lunch options overtook me. But with my restrictions (no meat, no chicken, no dairy), lunch has tended to fall into two categories: salads and versions of sandwiches with versions of various meat substitutes. The tofu bahn mi. The tofu wrap. And yes, the General Tso’s seitan sandwich. Which is delicious, really. But taste and nutrition wise, I felt like I’d eaten some version of a large and fancy hotdog. It was two days before Thanksgiving, and I had a lot to do, without fighting off the massive, rapidly descending food coma. And so, a moratorium: no more junky vegan lunches.

At my last job, I got really good at bringing myself delicious and healthy lunches from home. Leftover roasted veggies, salad greens, quinoa, avocado, black beans, some baked tofu or leftover salmon or even… an omelet (the poor man’s steak, if you will), made at home and the thrown atop the contents of my lunch container – any combo of those required a small amount of planning, whether it be cooking extra dinner to ensure leftovers, or just having a few extra groceries around. So I gotta bring that back. But in the meantime, mini-reviews of the recently sampled vegan and kosher-friendly lunch options in my new work neighbourhood:

No. 7 Sub

Located at the Ace Hotel, No. 7 Sub has a number of vegan options, including the General Tso’s seitan sambo I mentioned earlier. Still fending off that gluten and sugar coma. The pickled beets were a nice detail, though. At $12, before tax, this was probably the priciest of the local lunches. I was tempted by some kind of cucumber seltzer mentioned on their beverage list, but at $3.50, I was like, I should just be drinking more water 😦

V-Life

For a not-too-junky and pretty economic (lunch for about $8) vegan wrap, this place is great. It’s also miniscule, but never that busy. Their tofu wrap comes full of fresh salad greens, and is nicely filling. Actually, once I ordered their hummus wrap and wasn’t able to finish it. I think I finished it anyway.

Num Pang

More sandwiches! Slabs of spicy tofu, with lots of delicious pickled vegetables and a selection of sauces (I generally err on the side of whatever version of spicy mayo on offer), CILANTRO (alas, I married into a cilantro-free home so this is always very exciting), on a toasty, not-too-giant baguette. On the cheaper side, and with just enough veggies to not leave me appalled at my own lifestyle choices.

Bombay Sandwich Co.

Incredibly, I did not eat a sandwich here. “I want something hot and filling!” I told the nice man behind the counter. Bombay Sandwich Co. is entirely vegan, and it’s nice not to have to worry about my food rubbing up against someone’s porcine lunch. I had one of their bowls – a pretty unattractive brown rice and chickpea slop, with a few dabs of side sauces, and some soggy fresh salad. It was warm and tasty but honestly something that should have cost half of what it did. Based on the super-cute store design, and their clever branding, it seems to be a bit of an emperor’s new clothes situation, only with lots of cardamom.

Sweetgreen

Love fancy salad. Love. I had one of their salads, instead of customizing my own. It included delicious greens, avocado, tofu, the sweetest raw beets, broccoli, a sort of lime dressing – it was delicious, actually. And less than $10. Albeit for a day in which I am less hungry, but still. And I love that bit of sourdough they throw in with the mix. Very good for wiping up surplus dressing.

What can I say? It was fun while it lasted. As always, it’s cheaper and healthier to bring lunch from home. I plan to recommit after Thanksgiving, which is also when, coincidentally, I plan to recommit to lots of other things.

Kosher/Kosher Adjacent: A Wonderful Day of NYC Food

I need to tell you about my yesterday. My real wedding is in a few weeks, but yesterday, we went and got civilly wed at City Hall. I have been dreaming of eloping for years now, but alas, with a family the size of mine, and who are very serious about weddings, that was not an option.  But a fun City Hall day really allowed me to fulfill that fantasy. I recommend it.

Anyway, and have you heard? Russ & Daughters opened a restaurant last week. As soon as I heard, I thought, if I could have lunch there after the ceremony, it would just be the best day. The best day! I’d read the menu already – some websites posted it last week, along with photos of the gorgeous interior. I’d seen photos of some of the details (wallpaper in the toilet featuring a sesame seed motif!) on Instagram. I really was very excited.

Okay, now, just to reiterate. Russ & Daughters is not technically Kosher. For our purposes, I am calling it Kosher-adjacent. I’ll eat bagels and lox anywhere. I’m sorry! I hope I’m not pulling at the very fabric of this blog. Anyway; onwards! We all know that R & D is amazing. It’s not cheap, but I’m always guaranteed a wonderful experience. And the place is staffed by people who truly believe in R & D – it’s really pretty impressive. So the cafe! Big news. After the ceremony, we cabbed down there and – hooray! – got a table. I already knew exactly what was going to eat; sunny side up eggs, lox, and latkes. I mean, it’s my wedding day. Official life partner got the same thing. The others had bagels, egg creams (!) and coffee. Yesterday was also the day I finally understood egg creams. It’s mainly a creamy milkshake, and just a splash of seltzer gives it a slight effervescence. I never got that before. I thought of it as like, a fizzy milk drink. You know? But it’s not! And we shared the cookie plate and halva ice cream for dessert. They also played Hava Nagilla for us, and Jen, R & D’s ever-warm PR champ extraordinaire, came over with some drinks. “I can’t wait to tell my grandchildren about this!” I said. It’s true! Making memories, guys.

That night, I ate Pardes leftovers from my fridge. Have we written about Pardes here yet? I feel like no, but why? Because Pardes is honestly the best Actually Kosher restaurant in New York. And I can say that with never having eaten in probably half of the Kosher restaurants in this farshtunkene shtot. Chef Moses Wendel is one of the best things that Jews, as a people, have going for them. His playful high/low, colourful, ever-changing menu items are always surprising, delicious, and on trend. Not many Kosher restaurants can say that. The small plates thing can be misleading – I always get full far sooner than expected. I was full (on a magical kale salad, a taste of the pea soup, a glass of pinot grigio, and a few of those insaaane french fries, doused in truffle mayonnaise and red wine ketchup) before my BLT came, and I ended up taking it home. The B is the most deliciously fatty smoked beef belly and the star of the sandwich. Add yummy greens, tangy roasted tomatoes, crazy umami mayo (not what it’s actually called) and thin, toasty, crusty rye (I think). Oh my god! I ate it, basically cold, in front of the TV (Yankees-Mets game: Who. am. I???), armed with nothing but a paper towel in case of drips. And oh, there were drips. I’m married. Goodbye.

Pastrami On Why? In Which I Question The Apparent Lack of Good, Kosher Delis

Table For Jew is where we assess and report on the kosher restaurants of New York City.

In a city where my small kitchen has been designated as a dairy-only zone (in part due to having only one sink, limited storage space, and a vegetarian roommate), I periodically (get it???) crave meat. I also love sandwiches. This plus that, factoring in the city of New York, equals delis. Toasted rye, tender and fatty peppery pastrami, spicy mustard, crispy half sours, coleslaw – HOLD ME BACK.

Michael Pollan advocates for Meat-Free Mondays, but I have Meat Mondays. Sometimes my ❤ and I cook meat at his house, sometimes that meat is fish, and sometimes we eat meat a restaurant. One of my favourite places to do the latter is the Second Avenue Deli, on E33rd St. I never went to the deli when it was actually on Second Avenue. You see, back then, I wouldn’t think to eat a meat restaurant that was open on Shabbos – this is an outright halachic prohibition. The big 4 kosher certification agencies (OU, OK, Star K, and Kof K, BOOM!), would never certify a restaurant that was open on Shabbos. Actually, the aforementioned deli gets around this with an interesting, and actually legit loophole, supposedly commonly employed up until the 70s: a contract exists to automatically sell the restaurant to a non-Jew, each and every Shabbos. That way, on Shabbos, the kosher restaurant isn’t actually owned by a Jew, and the deli technically has steered clear of the prohibition. Confusing, but a thing. So the Second Avenue Deli, claiming to make the bulk of its matzo ball soup-selling business on Shabbos, is kosher. It just has a pissweak kosher certification. Which didn’t used to be okay, but is now okay with me.

Dr. Brown’s, full sours, half sours, matzo ball soup!

Another excellent Manhattan kosher deli is Pastrami Queen, near the Whitney Museum. But that too, has a questionable certification. Other famous delis – Katz’s for example, are not actually kosher at all. Why, I lament, is it so hard to find a good, capital-K Kosher deli in New York City? It makes no sense. Admittedly, as a lover of deli, herring, and smoked fish, I was born in the wrong era. Nostalgic stats will inform you that New York City used to be teeming with kosher delis. They’re all gone now. These days, food zeitgeist is leading young New Yorkers back to delis – but the kosher market has not caught up just yet. And these days, far fewer Jews actually care about kosher – so perhaps they’ll never catch up.

“But what about Gottlieb’s?”, you whine, tugging at my sleeve. Well, the thing with Gottlieb’s, an old, heimish, and extremely kosher deli in the heart of Satmar Williamsburg, is that it’s a bit gross. Yes, it’s fun to go there and sit among the noble savages and marvel at foon-der-heim (although not my heim – a schmaltz and kishke-free zone, and where kugel meant grated butternut squash, whole wheat flour, eggs, and olive oil) menu items. But I went there one Sunday a while back, and I ordered a corned beef sandwich, which is really the first thing a deli should get right, and it wasn’t very good at all. And it didn’t come with any sides. And the pickles were only full sour.  I had a fun time though; I was with my big sister and a family friend and it was a rainy outside and my sister drove me home afterwards.

Corned beef at Second Avenue Deli.

During the meal, the man at the table next to ours overheard our accents and demanded to know our last name because he’d spent 4 years in Melbourne as a cantor. We didn’t tell him. Gottlieb’s is a little too kosher. So back to the Second Avenue Deli I go, along with the rest of the heathens.

 

Table For Jew: But Do They Check The Lettuce? – The Vegan Restaurants of NYC

Table For Jew is where we assess and report on the kosher restaurants of New York City.

Close to the heart of any New York-dwelling kosher keeper are the city’s crunchy cornucopia of vegan restaurants. Less guilt-inducing than ordering what presents itself as kosher-ish at regular restaurants (whilst trying to avoid thoughts of potentially sinful wine vinegars, dirty knives, lard-streaked dishes, and really just kinda hoping for the best), and less oppressive than oft-crowded regular capital K kosher eateries, which often leave one disappointed, overcharged and, how you say, a touch anti-semitic? – are vegan restaurants.

It’s a **normal** restaurant, and you can order everything! I guess this is also how vegan people feel at vegan restaurants. At a vegan restaurant, the world is yours; you’re no different than any other regular patron, and the threat of mixed dancing and the subsequent intermarriage is far less blatant. The pressure, expectation, and disappointment of being Chosen is lifted, at least for the amount of time it takes to eat your meal. Also, your server will be a happy lady without a bra. But, thank you God, for vegan restaurants – a good one of which, can be found in most neighbourhoods.

I’ve done my time at number of them – during my first New York stint, when I was a 21-year old nanny, I was loyal to the East Village’s dimly lit Caravan of Dreams, where my visiting mother famously uttered the words, “Everything here is a sandwich.” She may have been unimpressed, but that place was my Sunday brunch staple. I was living nearby, and had no idea how much things were supposed to cost (CoD is a little on the pricey side, for vegan fare). Also down there is Angelica Kitchen. Again, not super cheap but dining there is always super pleasant and satisfying – pretty food in a breezy setting, and a communal table – if you dare!

Until recently, I worked on the Upper West Side, and the two establishments I most used to frequent were Peacefood and Blossom – mostly Peacefood – a large, breezy and friendly foodplace with a short but tasty menu. Thoughts of their steamed veggie dumplings slink through my mind often; I used to get them at least once a fortnight, like a lady possessed, usually post-yoga class, when I was feeling hungry, virtuous, and covered with a thin film of evaporated sweat. They come with one of those dipping sauces featuring both soy sauce and balsamic vinegar (ackkk, wine-based, kosher panic while writing this) which ON PAPER should not taste good but is… so… good. I would drink the stuff if everyone in the restaurant would just look away for a moment.

Peacefood Dumplings!!!

Blossom’s a little nicer; good for a special lunch with the girls, because you can sit outside on a pretty day and take well-lit Instagram photos of your food, and admire passing puppies and uptown shit like that. The last thing I ate there was a delicious salad, which starred triangles of delicately spicy marinated tofu, kimchee (a thing I could eat plain with a spoon, every day – I like the vegan certified one at Trader Joe’s), toasted cashews, loads of fresh greens, roasted carrots, and such a yummy dressing! I thought about ordering a green juice too, but that would mean that my lunch was costing like, $30 dollars, and that is bananas.

Other yummy places include Sacred Chow in the West Village, Pukk in the East Village, and the Rasta place next to my Crown Heights apartment where I can get 16 oz of amazing green juice (alas, not cold pressed) for $4. $4!

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